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Some Diary

Dear Page No. 79

I certainly don’t know you and I don’t know whether you like me or not but the fact is that I have spent too much time looking around for people who would listen to me. Listen to me not because they think I am losing it, listen to me not because they owe me something or listen to me not because they think I need to let it out. I just want someone to listen just to know what I feel like inside.

You seem like the only guy who would listen to me without asking questions, without telling what should I do and how I can get over this. 79 have you ever been in love? Haha what a silly question. What would you love? Page number 78 or the printed lines or maybe you can fall in love with this ink. Let me suggest you something, don’t ever do that.

You know the best part of talking to you 79? You won’t even ask me why and you won’t tell my secrets to anyone too. Will you? You know 79; it has been over 7 years since I last saw her. You know those rains? The water coming from skies, have you ever seen that? Ya, I met her last time in rains. It was beautiful, not because it was raining but because of the fact that it was looking the way I was feeling. A little weepy, a little breezy, a little greeny and a lot cold. You know what she said? She said ‘Don’t measure the time we spent in years do it in seconds, we had our time but life doesn't stop’.

Wasn't that lame 79? Measure in seconds, I don’t know what seconds, crappy thing, crappy lines. Yeah, I know what you are thinking. What she said was pretty good, deep indeed. Buy what do I do? I have thought of a million reasons to hate her. Like maybe she had an affair with someone, maybe she wanted someone richer, maybe she wanted some better looking or maybe she was never serious.

But what do I do with those eyes 79? Those big black eyes, every time I try to hate her, the large vacuum, the emptiness, the nothingness of her eyes flash to me. Her eyes say that she wanted me to stay, they say it was real. Was it? I don’t know, maybe it was a dream that I am mistaking to be true. Can’t get it out of my head after the sleep.

You know my friends say that I should start dating someone. What do you think? Life moves on? It does? Why is it not happening then? Parents sent me to a psychiatrist this weekend. He says I should engage in interactions, make new friends. That’s why came to you 79. You know, you are a good friend but it’s the last line we are left with.

79 we had our time, don’t measure our friendship in lines count seconds we spent together.

Truly Yours



  1. Ishan I am a family awwwwwwww loved it

  2. What you're saying is completely true. I know that everybody must say the same thing, but I just think that you put it in a way that everyone can understand. I'm sure you'll reach so many people with what you've got to say.


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मेरी कहानी बिखर गयी

खोले डाइयरी के कुछ पुराने पन्ने अभी
और मेरी कहानी बिखर गयी

कुछ सपने गिरे कवर के छेद से
जैसे रिहा हुए हों क़ैद से

मिली लाश कुछ वादों की वहाँ
ना जाने कब किए थे खुदसे और कहाँ

कुछ पन्नो बाद वो बे-अदब ‘मैं’ भी निकला
ना डर था जिससे और ना कोई परवाह

बे-अदब ‘मैं’ मुझसे पूछता है
ये यहाँ एक अजीब सा शोर क्यूँ है
तेरी सोच में आगे निकालने की होड़ क्यूँ है
ये क्या तेरी आम सी ज़िंदगी है
ये कौन है तू
ये क्या बन गया है तू

समझ ए बे-अदब
नासमझ है इसीलिए तो हराम है तू
दुनिए के कितने कायदों से अंजान है तू
कुछ सलीखा सीख ले जीने का अब तो
नुस्खे ले कामयाबी के अब तो

किन कायदों की बात करता है तू
किन वादों की बात करता है तू
देख खुद को आईनो मे कभी
क्या था और क्या है अब तू

सुन ओ क़ायदे पढ़ने वाले
सुन ओ सलीखे सिखाने वाले
तू कोई मसखरा तो नहीँ
क्योंकि तू ‘मैं’ तो नहीं हो सकता

कहाँ गयी है मेरी वो बेपरवाही
कहाँ है मेरा वो…

'ठा से' चुप करवाया फिर उसे
कवर, पन्नो और ड्रॉयर में दबाया फिर उसे

बंद किए डाइयरी के कुछ पुराने पन्ने अभी
और मेरी कहानी दफ़्न हुई

Zinda Hu Abhi

चल थोड़ी आज बेपरवाही कर लें
कुछ देर के लिए ज़रा आंखें बंद कर लें

चल देखें एक सुबह को शाम बनते हुए
कुछ आते-जाते लोग और कुछ पंछी उड़ते हुए

कुछ वक़्त मिले तो सुनूं साँसों को अपनी
हो जाए इनके आने जाने की भी तस्सली

कुछ देर ग़ुमान करूँ फिर ज़िंदा होने का
गिरवी हूँ तो क्या अभी मोहलत है थोड़ी  

कुछ देर ना डर, न ख्वाईश, न चाह  ना मक़सद और ना ज़रुरत हो तेरी
कुछ पल, कुछ गंटे तो बस यहाँ शख्सियत हो मेरी

The Summoning

It’s been a while precious Let’s just give it up my friend Do you think they care It’s difficult for us. It’s difficult to carry the body This white, this white isn’t worthy of our greatness Why do you have to do it Why do you have to carry this one The shiny dream, the flawless look, the brightness of the sun
It’s been a while Let’s just pick the worn one today The dark one, the imperfect one, the natural one Doesn’t it tempt us precious The grin look at it precious. It’s us. Grace of the manner-less The one, the only one The arrogant one, the happy one Let’s call him in precious