Skip to main content

Dealing with Breakup

Before I say anything, I really want to convey that this piece is highly gender neutral. I am not writing for guys specifically or girls. No matter, if you are a tough Martian or belong to Venus, it hurts equally bad. Blame it on your ex, circumstances, third parties or any bloody thing on the planet, the truth is that when relationship ends we all are usually in the same phase. Although some would say that breakup didn’t matter at all to their ex then I would say that may be relationship never existed for them.
Okay now after the customary disclaimer, what can I advise you that other people haven’t. I pondered upon the question and even considered naming this post ‘How to deal with breakup in 5 simple steps’ or may be ‘Get over your ex in just 6 days’. But I guess you already know that stuff: don’t be alone, spend time with friends, adopt some activity, and throw away their stuff and blah… blah… blah. Would it help?
I’m sure these things are very quite important but I feel it isn’t that easy. For those who have loved with all they have in their souls, it’s like losing a part of your soul and other part mourning for it. Believe me; I have spent 3 years of my life wondering where I went wrong. You play a movie there’re her/his fragments, you go out on a walk she/he is there, you sing a song it’s her/his favorite song and god knows what.
Understanding Breakup   
I believe there are four stages of breakup. First one is denial. I know most people won’t believe it but they usually are not ready to accept that their relationship is over. They may be cool about it in public but acceptance with your sub conscious comes after a while. Second stage is acceptance mixed with reoccurring denial where these two constantly fight with each other and then comes acceptance with a hunt for answers to questions like Why, What, How and so on. And the last stage is ignorance, I know a certain part of her/him will always remain with you but you choose to look over it and create a new self.
Now I really want you to read what I have understood of relationships. I truly believe that we are built as the pieces of puzzles though it may sound a little bookish. We are pieces molded uniquely to fit with only certain other pieces. We are here to look for things and people that connect with us in perfect fit. Obviously, we all are very keen to do so and this hunt we sometimes connect ourselves with wrong pieces. So whose mistake is it? I believe that no one is wrong here. God has made those pieces like that only. May be your ex was mean, selfish, he/she used you, he/she didn’t care about your or may be the situations and circumstances didn’t let you be together like you dreamt but whatever happened, it was never meant to be. So why did it happen? May be because you needed to learn some lessons about relationships to get ready for the next one or maybe you deserved some love and care before next relationship.
Therefore don’t waste your time blaming circumstances and people. Don’t think that it could have worked (I’m sure it will if it is meant to). There’re may be hundreds of negatives in your ex but that’s just another puzzle piece that is molded to fit with someone else. You spent some great time together but the mold doesn’t fit perfectly and one day it’ll just strike the right notes with a person who’ll never let you go ever.
Plus get ready for some pain. There’s no short cut to it. Love hurts and it’s happening from god knows when. You will have to spend some time crying, wondering what went wrong and calling them once in a while or maybe checking their profile to know if they are happy. So prepare your brain and heart to get hurt. Cry as much as you want but make sure that you have a friend for support. Here I have something for girls, please carefully select a shoulder to cry. Opening up with someone instantly can be a little problematic so choose someone you can trust. And finally, if you can, please adopt a pet. A dog or a cat can give you unconditional love without even asking for it.


Popular posts from this blog

मेरी कहानी बिखर गयी

खोले डाइयरी के कुछ पुराने पन्ने अभी
और मेरी कहानी बिखर गयी

कुछ सपने गिरे कवर के छेद से
जैसे रिहा हुए हों क़ैद से

मिली लाश कुछ वादों की वहाँ
ना जाने कब किए थे खुदसे और कहाँ

कुछ पन्नो बाद वो बे-अदब ‘मैं’ भी निकला
ना डर था जिससे और ना कोई परवाह

बे-अदब ‘मैं’ मुझसे पूछता है
ये यहाँ एक अजीब सा शोर क्यूँ है
तेरी सोच में आगे निकालने की होड़ क्यूँ है
ये क्या तेरी आम सी ज़िंदगी है
ये कौन है तू
ये क्या बन गया है तू

समझ ए बे-अदब
नासमझ है इसीलिए तो हराम है तू
दुनिए के कितने कायदों से अंजान है तू
कुछ सलीखा सीख ले जीने का अब तो
नुस्खे ले कामयाबी के अब तो

किन कायदों की बात करता है तू
किन वादों की बात करता है तू
देख खुद को आईनो मे कभी
क्या था और क्या है अब तू

सुन ओ क़ायदे पढ़ने वाले
सुन ओ सलीखे सिखाने वाले
तू कोई मसखरा तो नहीँ
क्योंकि तू ‘मैं’ तो नहीं हो सकता

कहाँ गयी है मेरी वो बेपरवाही
कहाँ है मेरा वो…

'ठा से' चुप करवाया फिर उसे
कवर, पन्नो और ड्रॉयर में दबाया फिर उसे

बंद किए डाइयरी के कुछ पुराने पन्ने अभी
और मेरी कहानी दफ़्न हुई

Zinda Hu Abhi

चल थोड़ी आज बेपरवाही कर लें
कुछ देर के लिए ज़रा आंखें बंद कर लें

चल देखें एक सुबह को शाम बनते हुए
कुछ आते-जाते लोग और कुछ पंछी उड़ते हुए

कुछ वक़्त मिले तो सुनूं साँसों को अपनी
हो जाए इनके आने जाने की भी तस्सली

कुछ देर ग़ुमान करूँ फिर ज़िंदा होने का
गिरवी हूँ तो क्या अभी मोहलत है थोड़ी  

कुछ देर ना डर, न ख्वाईश, न चाह  ना मक़सद और ना ज़रुरत हो तेरी
कुछ पल, कुछ गंटे तो बस यहाँ शख्सियत हो मेरी

Mom You’ll Always Be Around

‘Moving’-A small six letter word but evokes a dozen different emotions, and all at once. It brings the excitement of going to a new place, the fun of meeting new people, it also has the curiosity of learning new things and somewhere it has the pain of leaving things behind. Things that you have known for long enough and some people who just don’t seem to get out of the head. It’s difficult to say for all but for a majority, we never grow big enough, mature enough not to miss mom. In fact in a new country, she’s the one who can help beat the blues and get along with the people. From the universal mom’s diary, following 5 lessons may be handy in settling at a new place.
Listen from your heart
Expectations of the boyfriend, attitude of co-workers, weather, money, the lady residing down the road, the black dog, crops this year and god knows what, we all have something to say about everything. Most of us want to be listened or more importantly to be understood. It doesn’t matter where you a…